Tell Them…they need to hear it

I always want you to do your best, no matter what you do.  This is what I tell my children all the time. Whether it is cleaning their rooms, doing their chores, playing sports or school work. I just want them to do their best.

Seth and I argue a lot. We are a lot alike and because of that I see so many traits in him that have caused me grief. In trying to spare him the grief, pain and awkwardness I have felt in my life, I have inadvertently let him believe I don’t think he is good enough. This absolutely breaks my heart. As a parent the last thing you want to do is cause your child to feel less than. He is such a sensitive kid though, and any criticism from me tends to lead him down a nasty trail of negative self talk.

Today I was talking to a good friend who has similar issues with her daughter. They are so much alike and really struggle sometimes with their relationship. She told me that for the next two weeks she is going to really concentrate on only praising her daughter. She is going to cut out all critical comments and really watch for the positive qualities of her daughter. As she was telling me this I knew this was what I needed to do with Seth. Right before she came over, Seth and I had been fighting. I was flustered and irritated with him. With a sigh I prayed that I would know what to do to help him.  No sooner did I end my prayer than my doorbell rang and she came over.

Everyone needs encouragement. We all need to know we are doing okay, we are doing enough, we are good enough. I have started telling my children “secrets” every night. The last thing they hear from me at the end of the day is something positive I noticed them doing that day. They love their secrets and won’t let me forget to tell them.

At some point in our lives we stopped asking for the positive reinforcement, the praise, the encouragement. We stopped asking, but never stopped needing. In a marriage, if one person is constantly nagging at the other, and never offers any positive feedback, how great will that marriage be? We know it won’t be. It goes the same for our children. They need to have more than hearing us say “I love you”. We need to show it in our actions, our looks, our service to them.

For the next two weeks I am going to show my children how much I love them by pointing out the positive all the time. I am going to try really hard to not criticize, and leave them little notes and cards of encouragement. I intend on filling their Bug ‘ems with goodies and special treats. I want them to know I am noticing how hard they try to make good choices and be good kids.

I am going to encourage them to be the children I know they are. And hopefully thorough this, my sweet boy will be able to stop the negative self talk, and we will break the awful fighting cycle we have entered.

My hope is that by showing and telling my children how wonderful they are they will always believe it.

This is a sponsored post from Hallmark as part of the Life is a Special Occasion campaign. I am so thrilled to be working with this fabulous company this year and to have the opportunity to share ways to make everyday occasions  special.  Hallmark has a wonderful selection of cards for children of all ages. They are great for lifting up and giving encouragement in those everyday moments. Also be sure to check out the Bug ‘Ems
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