Ten years ago today you made me a Mama. You came into our lives in such an unexpected way and changed everything in your short time here. This morning my heart is heavy. My heart is heavy with missing you, with missing all we could do together. My heart yearns for my 4th grader, my 10 year old girl. I miss seeing you have crushes on boys, being in the school choir, participating in sports, plays and other fun activities.
My heart is also breaking for the numerous families who, just yesterday, lost their sweet children. In an unspeakable act, a man forced his way into an elementary school, and shot and killed 20 innocent children. My heart breaks for their parents. Their parents who sent their children to school and now have to live with the pain we live with. The wondering, trying to wrap your brain around the fact that your child was just here, and now they are gone. These parents have to know the pain of birthdays in the cemetery, no more Christmases, Halloweens, Valentines Day, Easter. They have to know the pain of burying their child and knowing they can not watch them fall in love, grow up, ride a bike, drive a car.
My heart is breaking for them. My heart is aching for you.
What I want you to know today on your 10th birthday is this – if I had it all to do again, knowing you would still leave me – I would do it. Every bit of pain I feel, every twinge of longing, every tear I shed is worth the beautiful 8 months and 8 days I had with you.
You are such a light in our family, we all love you. My prayer today is for comfort for those families whose lives have been destroyed. I pray they will find some sort of peace in the years to come. And I pray that we will all hold our babies closer today, because the nation has learned something I already knew. Life is short, life is fragile, hold on while you can because you never know when your loved ones will be taken from you.
I love you my sweet Emma. Happy birthday baby girl.