It’s different this time. I’ve been pregnant 5 other times, I know the drill. I know what to expect, I know what to feel. But this time, something is very different.
I am not sick. Like, at all.
Exhausted? YES! Sore boobs? YES! Sick? Nope.
Now, those of you who get dreadfully sick, I am sure you are rolling your eyes at me right now. I should just take it and be happy.
And I do, and I am…it’s just…
In the quiet moments when I allow my mind to wander, I worry. I worry I will lose this baby. I worry there will be something very wrong with this child who is causing me so little pregnancy grief. I worry I am not really pregnant. I have nightmares that involve blood, tears and a tiny tiny baby. I worry, worry, worry.
So I take way too many pregnancy tests. I take them to reassure myself that my exhaustion is not just from being the mother to 4 very busy children, but because I am growing yet another child in my womb. It gives me my peace of mind for a minute.
I never knew how much I relied on being sick with the last 5 babies. I never realized the peace of mind it offered, that as long as I am sick the baby is okay. We hear that all the time, don’t we? If you’re sick, that’s a good thing, you know the baby is okay then. So what does that mean for me and my little grape sized resident? Does that mean s/he is not okay? Does that mean there is something dreadfully wrong?
Or does it just mean I am getting a break this pregnancy? Does it just mean The Lord knows I am tired, busy and don’t have time to be oh so sick this time? Jeremy says it is because I am in better shape this time than I have been with any of the other children. I think he’s just trying to make me feel better.
I don’t know – but until I start showing, feeling my uterus and feeling those fluttery kicks, I will keep taking tests. Those two little lines give me more peace of mind than I can describe.
Umm, I get this and literally just wrote about my own fears and worries last night. And I am sick. This fear thing gets us all it seems. Praying for peace.
I think it is totally natural to feel this way. I never experienced loss and still found myself more anxious with each pregnancy. We just know so much more about what a miracle it is when things go exactly as they should. I’ll be praying for peace of mind for you.
I’ve only had two kids, and each pregnancy was so very different I couldn’t compare them at all. It was maddening. Until I could feel the flutter, I never felt confident. And then, of course I worried the rest of the time
Oh hun…no worries. I wasn’t sick with ANY of mine. Gaggy a handful of times between all 3 but NEVER EVER puked once. So it’s o.k. to not be sick. You have changed your lifestyle alot of this last one so your body is just different in general this time. Hugs to you!!
I agree with Jeremy about being healthier. But you never know. I didn’t get sick with Cohen until about 10 weeks. Because I was sick is how I found out I was even pregnant with Piper and I was only 5 weeks along. Maybe you aren’t as far along as you think you are. But, having had miscarriages before, I worry worry worry until I go to the doctor. When do you get to hear the heart beat?
Kim, every single one of my pregnancies was different. different levels of exhaustion and sickness. I never really even got sick until I had my Luke, number 6! then, I wasnt sick again with anyone other than the little twins we lost. I was SO sick with them. Then, my last little baby, I was tired but not sick at all. Every baby is different. Try to rest in that. Blessings!
I was never sick with Sammy. And man. Did I worry. I was sick as a dog with the one I miscarried. Apparently, I swapped convention.
I was never sick and actually felt better than normal with my first 3 pregnancies (all boys). With my 4th (girl) I was nauseated for. ever. Good Luck, those first few weeks are always so stressful. Love ya and so excited for you.
I’m pregnant with number three, I’m SO sick, and I still take a pregnancy test once a day! It comes with the territory no matter how nauseous you are or aren’t.