Things have been WAY too serious around here.
We have been having fun amidst all the chaos, I promise! This video is really more for my folks, but anyone who loves 2 1/2 minutes of happy baby squeals can watch. Cause really, this baby? He is DIVINE. I love to eat him up.
And, just in case you didn’t get enough….here he is playing with the big kids.
Ah, that’s better. Happy! Baby! Kids!
Yep, despite all the seriousness of this site lately, my life is pretty dang awesome.
We should sign the kids up for swim lessons, he said. Oh yeah, why not? We did it last Winter and it was so fun!
Except last Winter I was homeschooling, so it didn’t matter what time they went to bed. Last Winter only two were in swim lessons, and they were usually at the same time, two days a week. Last Winter I wasn’t half as busy as I am this Winter.
This Winter we have swim lessons every day. With three children in three different levels, we are there every day. Monday and Wednesday is Amelia, Tuesday and Thursday are Libby and Seth.
We come home from school, have snack, do homework, watch a little Tom and Jerry, then it is out the door to lessons. We roll in the driveway on Monday and Wednesday at about 6:15. Tuesdays and Thursdays we are home at 7:15. There is just enough time for a quick shower for those who swam, dinner and bed.
I get them to bed and then I contemplate what I need to do. I need to write, I need to sew for the Handmade Market at Blissdom, I need to do my Body Restoration work, and I need to run.
Running has been the only thing I have been able to do on my nightly to-do list. Elliott has gone from sleeping from 8-12 in his crib, to 8-10. Two hours isn’t a lot of time to get a run in and get anything else done. He is teething, he is cranky, he just wants me, but I am tired and overwhelmed and have so much to do.
I try not to get upset. I snuggle him, I nurse him, I fall asleep and promise myself that tomorrow I will do my Body Restoration homework, sew a skirt or two, do the laundry, do the dishes, and make everything work the way it’s supposed to.
I keep telling myself once swim lessons are done and we are not in such a hurry after school it will be better. I tell myself that and then remember soccer starts in March.
Oy.
*I am not now nor will I ever claim to be super anything, except super scattered and crazy and overwhelmed.
He is mobile. Moving everywhere at a faster pace every day. Upending laundry baskets, exploring the socks, finding crackers, cheerios, cat food to eat.
Why is he soaking wet? What did he get into now? Who left their water on the floor? Oh, it was the cat’s water.
He is happily crawling exploring books, puzzles and packages of wipes. Then I hear it. thud…followed by a cry that tells me it hurt. I run to him, scoop him in my arms and snuggle away the pain.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
This is my day. This is what I do all day. This and housework, and writing work, and game playing and taking care of the other 3 children who need me so much.
The big ones are at school, I miss them so much my heart aches. But when they come home we can’t play. It is homework, and friends, and swim lessons, and dinner and stories and bedtime.
The small one is adapting again to having her brother and sister gone all day. It is hard for her, she misses them, but she is good at being the big sister and helping me out around the house (and watching far too much PBS kids).
This is what we do. I try to work, write a word here, sew a stitch there, kiss a wound here, snuggle a babe there. Do a dish, sweep a floor, pick up a puzzle, read a book, nurse a babe, fold some clothes…it all becomes so much for my ADD mind. So I try to slow it down. I try to slow down my thoughts, my world, their growing.
These days are a woven tapestry of joy and pain that comes from increased independence…for everyone, and it is hard.
Linking up with Just Write
I only took 86 pictures last December. This year I have taken 570 so far. If a picture is worth a thousand words, my lack of pictures are worth so much more.
Yesterday as I was driving home from grocery shopping I was thinking about what I was doing a year ago. One year ago on the eve of New Year’s Eve, I was saying goodbye to my sweet little town. I said goodbye to Jeremy’s Grandma and cried. I walked around my house, trying to absorb every memory I could, then locked my house for the last time. I said goodbye to my dear dear friends. I cried. Seth cried. We tucked into our hotel room and prepared for the days to come.
One year ago as the sun rose on New Year’s Eve, we were driving through Utah on our way to our new home in Texas.
Everything was so uncertain. I had no idea what my home would look like. I had no idea if I could make homeschooling work, or if I would find a midwife I would love. My life was so full of uncertainties and it was scary. I was scared to leave my family, friends and life I loved.
One year later, I am learning to love our new home. The summers are brutal, but the Winter more than makes up for it.
My children are thriving, their school is fabulous, we have some friends and I am stronger now than I was when we left.
Change will do that to us. It will stretch us, test us, and try us. We will cry and wonder how in the world we can do this. Then when we have enough time and miles behind us, we see that we are better and stronger and really can do hard things.
As I face another new year, I am feeling ready for the changes that will come. My children will grow, I will run my first half marathon, we will cry and laugh and continue to be tested and tried.
We will grow stronger, and isn’t that great?
..
Here Amelia, eat this. She looks at him suspiciously, then looks at what is in his hand. Two small rounds of bread with chocolate chips in between. A chocolate chip sandwich!
Reminds me of the concotions I would make for my little brother. Except mine weren’t nearly as delicious (or edible). Mine consisted of prune juice, sugar, water, chocolate syrup, sprite, salt, pepper and anything else we could find in the cupboard. And he would drink it. Every bit. And love it.
Want to play Beauty Shop? I will let you do my hair and make up this time, I promise. I doll him up to look like the little sister I always wanted. When it is his turn to make me beautiful, I look at him, laugh and run outside. I jump in the pool before he has a chance to get me.
My little brother. I wasn’t very nice to him. In fact quite often I was down right mean. That is what I knew though. My brothers and sister weren’t nice to me, so I thought that was how a younger sibling was supposed to be treated.
He was so patient with me. Never hit me back, rarely yelled back. The angriest he got was when he stuck a pencil in my butt cheek in Jr. High (I still have a blue mark on my bum!).
This little boy, who eventually became one of my favorite people. He can make me laugh harder than anyone else. He is gentle and kind and hilarious. He is perpetually late and a bit of a flake, but I love him. My boy.
I think of my little brother and I pray my children can have relationships with each other like I have with him.
Typically when my kids want to experiment in the kitchen I say no. I don’t want to waste ingredients and I don’t want a mess to clean up. But they are making memories. They are building bonds and that is something I don’t want to interrupt.
linking up with Heather and Just Write today.
