Today I bought sugar wafers.
It has been a long time since I last purchased this little treat, but when I laid eyes on them, they jumped into my cart. One bite and I am immediately taken back to my childhood. To hot summer afternoons swimming in my Grandparent’s pool. Coming inside (after I’d dried off of course!) and digging in the never empty cookie jar. Grama always had certain things at her house – cheetos, root beer and sugar wafers were among the staples.
It has been almost six years since she died, my last Grandparent. Somedays I miss her with such intensity it startles me. When my life is turned upside down, things are up in the air, or I am emotionally struggling with something, my heart is turned to her. It took me a while to understand this, but now I get it. Growing up we moved a few times. No matter where I went, my Grama’s house always stayed the same. She changed the paint color and got rid of the shag carpet after Grampa died, but other than that – it always smelled the same and was the same. It was the one constant home in my life. The only place I had memories throughout my childhood and adulthood.
Right now my life is a bit chaotic. Things are up in the air, I don’t know where I will be living in 3 months, where my children will be going to school, or what my life will look like then. So, it just seems right that I bought sugar wafers today. I sit to eat them and can smell Gram’s house, hear her laugh, and feel her arms around me reminding me it is all going to be okay.
And that is just what I needed today.
I open the door and the steam rises all around me. I step in to the almost too hot water and let it wash over me. I breathe a sigh of relief. Finally, time to just be me. This is my time. The water, the steam, the heat, the quiet. I start to think of [...]
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