Sometimes even Super Woman* gets overwhelmed.

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We should sign the kids up for swim lessons, he said. Oh yeah, why not? We did it last Winter and it was so fun!

Except last Winter I was homeschooling, so it didn’t matter what time they went to bed. Last Winter only two were in swim lessons, and they were usually at the same time, two days a week. Last Winter I wasn’t half as busy as I am this Winter.

This Winter we have swim lessons every day. With three children in three different levels, we are there every day. Monday and Wednesday is Amelia, Tuesday and Thursday are Libby and Seth.

We come home from school, have snack, do homework, watch a little Tom and Jerry, then it is out the door to lessons. We roll in the driveway on Monday and Wednesday at about 6:15. Tuesdays and Thursdays we are home at 7:15. There is just enough time for a quick shower for those who swam, dinner and bed.

I get them to bed and then I contemplate what I need to do. I need to write, I need to sew for the Handmade Market at Blissdom, I need to do my Body Restoration work, and I need to run.

Running has been the only thing I have been able to do on my nightly to-do list. Elliott has gone from sleeping from 8-12 in his crib, to 8-10. Two hours isn’t a lot of time to get a run in and get anything else done.  He is teething, he is cranky, he just wants me, but I am tired and overwhelmed and have so much to do.

I try not to get upset. I snuggle him, I nurse him, I fall asleep and promise myself that tomorrow I will do my Body Restoration homework, sew a skirt or two, do the laundry, do the dishes, and make everything work the way it’s supposed to.

I keep telling myself once swim lessons are done and we are not in such a hurry after school it will be better.  I tell myself that and then remember soccer starts in March.

Oy.

*I am not now nor will I ever claim to be super anything, except super scattered and crazy and overwhelmed.

What Memories are Made of

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“When you sell a man a book you don’t sell him just 12 ounces of paper and ink and glue – you sell him a whole new life.”  -Christopher Morley

As a child, I could often be found lost between the pages of a book. I would become Claudia from The Babysitter’s Club, or Jessica (or Elizabeth depending on the day) from Sweet Valley Twins. I could picture myself living on a prairie in rural Nebraska at the turn of the century, or as a youth in the 40′s. I believe my love of acting was born from my love of reading.

When I was in college I started buying books for my future children. I wanted them to have an abundance of books to choose from. I wanted them to have a story at their fingertips at all times.

My goal has become a reality. My children have books, and books, and books. They love to read, be read to, and best of all, act out what they have read.

From the time Seth was about 2, he has used his imagination to make his favorite books come to life. For about six months, he was Roo, I was Kanga, Jeremy was Tigger and Amelia was “Pliget”. That obsession then morped into Toy Story, Star Wars and then How to Train Your Dragon.

While all of those titles are movies, only two of the obsessions came from the movies – Toy Story and Star Wars. Seth fell in love with the How to Train Your Dragon books before he saw the movie…we all did. He loves that we have Norwegian ancestry and is just sure my ancestor, Thor, was a Viking…thus making HIM a Viking!

He still loves Star Wars and How to Train Your Dragon, but now he has fallen under the spell of Hogwarts and is often found wearing his black robes and waving his wand…he is Harry Potter.

My children are regularly seen playing as if they are the characters from their favorite book. They don’t necessarily act out what happened in the book, instead they make up their own stories using those characters they have come to love.

I absolutely adore this. The use of their imaginations! It is one thing to act out what you have seen or read, just as you have seen or read it.  But to create your own stories, plot lines, problems and solutions, that is an entirely different skill, and I love watching it happen.

I love that my children love books. I have always wanted them to love to read and to have the stories come to life.

It has been said the best gift you can give is a book and I wholeheartedly agree. Where else can children escape, become pirates, vikings, princesses, anything their hearts desire. And that is the stuff memories are made of.

:::

I am so excited to be partnering with Hallmark again this year. Hallmark is not only in the business of celebrating the special occasions, but celebrating Life as a Special Occasion. Hallmark and I will both be at Blissdom this year! Come find me as I am a Community Leader, and go find Hallmark (you might see me there too!!) to learn more about how to make Life a Special Occasion!

Body Restoration Week 2: I Can Do Hard Things

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You are ugly. You are fat. You’re so dumb. Why can’t you do that right? Why can’t you get your act together? What is wrong with you? It’s not that hard. Everyone else can lose the weight, why can’t you? Stop being so lazy.

If I ever heard my children saying these things to each other, or to themselves, I would come unglued. How dare they talk about someone else or themselves that way? That is absolutely inappropriate – we love and build and nurture each other, not tear each other down.

But, in one form or another, this has been the running dialogue in my head for the last 30 years. I have believed these things so deeply I never thought I could change.  I never thought I could look past the negativity that clouds my vision, to see the positive and beauty all around.

This week I made a conscious decision to take off the “terrorist glasses” as Body Restoration calls them, and see what is all around me.  I decided to stop focusing on the negative and see myself for what I am.

I am a woman, a Mother, a wife, a lover, a friend, I can do hard things, I have done hard things, I encourage, I create, I lift up, I can sew, I can sing, I can write, I try, I can run, I can walk, my body is amazing even if it is not what I want it to be yet. I am amazing. I am a child of God.

I have noticed a shift in my thinking in the last 2 weeks. Writing everyday what my body has done is an amazing practice. To see all the things I have done and was only able to do because I have this amazing body.

::::

On Saturday morning I was up at 6 am. Jeremy and I got on our running duds, woke the children, got them dressed, and loaded up in the car. We were ready. I had been training, he had not, but we were both going to run a 5K.

It was cold on Saturday morning. My children have gotten very accustomed to these Texas “Winters” where it rarely dips below 60, but we bundled them up and they were ok…kind of. Thankfully a good friend met us there, took our kids to her car to stay warm, and brought them out to cheer us on as we left and came back.

We lined up and I found my girl, Lisa. Lisa is the one who has really encouraged me to start running. She does it and loves it. I have told her that I would never be a runner, but here I am. She encouraged me to apply for the HEB Zooma Texas Girlfriend’s Program, which is how I am training for my half marathon. She is an amazing friend to have and such an inspiration.

We lined up for the race to begin and I told Jeremy he didn’t have to stay with me. I wanted him to see what he could do, and so did he. So, we started out together, but shortly he took off and I was left with Lisa and the 10,000 Maniacs crooning in my ear that These Are The Days.  And they are.

Lisa and I pushed each other the first half. Then she did her thang and took off and made herself a Personal Record (YAY LISA!!!). I kept pushing myself, as long as I could see her I kept going, and also made a personal record for myself (YAY ME!).

I finished. My kids were there cheering me on as I came in. I heard my friend Candida’s voice in my head at the very end saying, “Run girl! RUN RUN RUN! Pick up those knees and kick up those heels!” When we run together she pushes me at the end to sprint it in. She was standing there with my kids and I heard her over Maroon 5 telling me to push it, and I did.

I can do hard things. I have an amazing body that lets me run.

:::

The shift in my thinking is a slow process. But, I noticed something as I was running. I wasn’t comparing myself to the other runners. I was doing my best and took pride in knowing I was doing it. I saw other runners and walkers and felt so much pride for each of them. I wanted to shout, “YAY!!! We are DOING THIS!”

There was a guy near the end who was walking it. He was very overweight, but he was doing it. I wanted to tell him how proud of him I was. He was making a choice, making a change and is amazing.

I think of my attitude about running a month ago. I didn’t want to run during the day because I didn’t want anyone to see me. I didn’t want anyone to see my fat rolls, my jiggly body as I ran. Now, I want everyone to see me. I want to show the world that I am breaking free from this negativity that has held me hostage for so many years.

I want to shout it from the rooftops that I am free.

 

*Brave Girls Club has given me tuition to the Body Restoration class. All words and opinions are mine.

The day my blog was gone

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It was a very scary thing, my blog was just..GONE! Several months ago I made the switch from Blogger to WordPress.  I found a company who was reasonably priced and did the switch for me.

When going from Blogger to WordPress, there are several things to keep in mind – one of which is that your blog is self hosted. What this means is that you not only have to buy the domain name (prairiemama.com) but you have to pay a 3rd party to host your blog for you.

When I switched, the company I used paid for my hosting for 3 months. I knew this was what was going to happen, and I went on with my life. 3 months later I got an email from the company saying my hosting had expired and that I needed to find a new place to host, or change my billing information to continue with them.

When I went to log into my blog and try to figure out how to get my hosting, my site was gone. POOF! Disappeared. This company I had used gave me no prior warning this was going to happen and I was totally at a loss. Since this company was a reseller for GoDaddy, I had to figure out how to go through GoDaddy to get my account back up. It was giving me a headache and a stomachache and I really just wanted to write on my blog and I COULDN’T!

So, I did what any reasonable person would do in this situation. I frantically went to Twitter. I asked people to point me in the direction of great hosting and someone who could help me bring my blog back to life.

That is when I met Kelly of Twenty70 Hosting. She walked me through everything I needed to do. I checked out her site and saw that it was actually affordable and a great deal for what you get!

Right now Twenty70 Hosting has the i.am.blogger special (this is what I got!). It is only $5/month for hosting your site. Such a great deal!

    • Twenty70 is woman owned
    • Twenty70 specializes in WordPress hosting with servers optimized for WordPress
    • Twenty70 owns our own servers, we’re not a reseller.
    • Twenty70 has provided several full & partial conference sponsorships in the last 2 years

Kelly’s willingness to help me until my blog was up and running again, has made me a forever customer for Twenty70 Hosting.

If you are ready to make the switch, need a new hosting site, or are just fed up with big companies who don’t know you from Adam, take advantage of this special — it is worth every cent.

Body Restoration: Week 1

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My battle with my body image has been a constant in my life. Hearing that I was fat and ugly from my brother, comparing myself to my beauty queen sister, knowing I was not as pretty or as good at singing or piano as she was. Watching my Mother struggle with her weight. Going with her to Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, NutriSystem, etc. I don’t know if that planted the seeds of knowing my body wasn’t good enough, but I am sure it didn’t help.

I don’t remember when I first started hating my body, or being aware that it was not as good as others. I know it was in grade school. I remember being in dance class, and while I wasn’t the biggest girl in the class, I was very cognizant of my belly – the one that the fun skinny girls didn’t have.

As I grew into a teenager, I was never fat by any stretch of the imagination, but I felt it. I wore a size 8 jeans, was in cheerleading, track and swimming. I was healthy and fit. But, since I didn’t fit into the mold of the other girls wearing a size 1 or 2, I told myself that I was not as good as they were. I was ugly and fat.

I believed the lies that had been fed to me. This has continued into my adulthood and I am tired of it. I am tired of not believing in myself and tired of despising the way I look.

I don’t want my daughters to grow up with body issues the way I have. I watch my Mother and sister as  they obsess over their bodies, how much they ate, how they look, what clothes do and don’t fit…I don’t want that for my life. I don’t want for the first sentence out of my mouth when I see someone I love to be, “well? Can you see I’ve lost weight?”.

I am so much more than my body. 

I am more than this body that I obsess over. I am learning to believe my body is an amazing thing. This is something that is difficult for me to accept.  That my body, this place that houses my soul, this overweight, flabby, frizzy haired thing is amazing.

The first week of Body Restoration has been great. My homework for the week has been to thank my food whenever I eat. I am really good at doing it when it is something healthy. However, when I am eating my 4th no bake chocolate cookie, I am not thanking it.  It has made me much more aware of what I put in my mouth though.

Sweet Liberty has started thanking her food too. I love that. She will say, “thank you crackers for being so yummy” and if I forget, she is quick to remind me.

I have also had to write down everyday what my body does. Today my body…held my baby, nursed my baby, ran 5 miles, comforted a sick child, did laundry, hugged my husband, laughed with my children…the list goes on and on.  I am more than my body.

I am so much more than what you see.

The second part of the class this week was making our body book. This is a book that I will work on throughout the class. This is my book of collages, thoughts, and art projects.

This is a challenge as I try to unlock the artistic side of me. I am creative, but not with paper, paint, and pencils. Give me fabric or yarn and I can sew or knit something wonderful to express myself. Tell me to do it with a different medium than I am used to and it is an entirely different story.

I think this is good though. This forces me to step outside my comfort zone, to really think about what I am doing and why.

I am so much more than what you see. I am so much more than what I see. And I pray that I will soon really start to believe that.

*I was given tuition to Brave Girls Club Body Restoration class. All opinions, experiences, and healing that takes place are mine alone.

**Note – not my real eye color. I don’t know why I felt the need to disclose that, but I do.

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